When I was on my worst porn use streak I started to hate women

Okay. It might be weird, but I wanted to talk about this with you guys. Some would say this is about using some stupid feminist angle to make men feel bad about theirselves, but it's not. I wouldn't become a feminist even if I had a gun on my head.

I started watching porn as any of you. I was 13, I think. Anyway, I remember I used to consume pretty tame shit at the start. But in just a moment I shifted to fucked up genres. I watched hentai and for some reason I ended up enjoying femdom as anything else. I noticed I did this because I was shy and femdom gives me an image of an assertive female that made me feel safe and loved. In the way I started to watch hardcore stuff.

I hated it, but I couldn't live without it. I was on humiliation and that kind of femdom angle. It made me worthless and destroyed my confidence. I started thinking as this women as drug dealers that make a quick buck making me miserable. I knew it wasn't right. I don't need a woman telling me what is to be a man. I didn't have to need the approval of this wicked ass people that laugh in front of me. I didn't need them to mock my sexuality and body. I hated them.

In the end I was shifting between humiliating porn and abuse fetishes that made me feel I was paying back them for their abuse. In the end I started to resent women for making me miserable. That's why I stoped watching porn, I don't want some hoes to make me miserable. But I know women are just people, so in the time being, and being away from this hateful stuff, I've realised people is just as diverse independently of their gender.

I want to have a partner I can respect and that makes me feel loved. I do like women more though – I'm bisexual.
I'm better now. I did stop porn because of self-love, not because I want to look good in front of some feminist wannabes – at least some of those guys think that automatically when the subject comes out in college.

Thanks for listening. Bad english bad.

From here

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